THE END.

Dear Sam,
       I am so sorry for playing as your second mom, and for being a hypocrite and an instigator. I have realized more problems in what I do and say to you rather than what I felt were random outbursts of anger from you. In my first post on this blog ("Introduction.") I mentioned that our relationship was a "jumble of knots" and now I understand that my original analogy was incorrect; we love each other, but my own blind need to cause problems is what made our relationship weak. 
      My second post ("THE ZOMBIE GEN"), I wrote about my irritation that you were so enveloped in your games on electronics that you refused to give me any new information to use in my research. Reading back on it, I remembered how many times I had done that to you; for example, when you were 4, our parents were out and I was playing on my new Ipod. You kept yelling at me about something, but it wasn't until I pulled out the corn dog you had stuffed into the toaster that was on fire (and I swore nearly burnt the house down), that I realized you were asking me to make you lunch. 
      Third post (PART 1), in my interview with you I was rude and yelled at you, and without realizing it, posted my self actually giving you a reason to get upset and then blamed it on your "anger issues". To make it all worse, the next post ("PART 2") I called you out for being a hypocrite and then went on about "practice what you preach", and "do to others what you would want done to yourself" when all the while I should have been writing to myself- telling myself all those things. I talk about not forcing a kid into wrong simply 'cause you're too lazy to extend them love; I'm lazy; I'm a hypocrite; I am sorry. 
      The last post ("A Different Perspective"), perhaps the only honest data on the entire blog, mom and dad point out that you have to fight for attention and that none of us older siblings really like to take time out of our days to play cars or imagination with you like an ordinary eight year old. Once more I find myself apologizing for my blind neglect towards you. We all use the excuse of "anger issues" to cover up what no one wants to confess: we have stolen a year of your childhood for our own lazy gain, and when you failed to meet our standards we blamed you and that is unacceptable. Apologies don't cover what we have done, but change can definitely heal what we have broken. 

I love you,
      ~Your big sis

Source:
Brewer, Isabelle. The Observed. Google Blogger, sept. 2014. (web). 12, dec., 2014
Samuel, Brewer. Personal interview. 20, oct. 2014.
Brewer, Michael. Personal interview. 11, oct. 2014.